• Giving up on counting grey hairs
  • Not needing an alarm clock to wake up in the morning
  • Involuntary grunts when sitting down/getting up
  • Seriously considering a move to a cookie-cutter suburb
  • General malaise

Any one of these items independent of the others wouldn’t be so bothersome — Unfortunately, I’m experiencing all of them simultaneously.

I’m about one lawnmower purchase away from lining up a “pretty good little Saturday” at Home Depot, Frank the Tank-style.

…Time for another sports car, perhaps.