Always Put Salt In Your Eyes
I arrived home this evening to find some jackass in my assigned parking spot.
I’ve called the landlord. They kindly offered to post a warning on the car. It’ll go nicely with the rather more offensive one I’ve already placed on the windshield.
I informed the landlord that my truck was currently blocking asshat’s car into the spot, and that I wouldn’t be moving it until sometime tomorrow. The response: “Umm, okay. If you think that’s what you should do.” The ever-efficient police will be along in “3 or 4 hours” to give another ticket.
At this particular moment, I’m considering a slightly more vigilante justice. Perhaps I’ll take all 4 wheels off and toss them in a dumpster? The old sugar-in-the-gas-tank trick? Maybe a good old-fashioned dump on the hood?
I’ll consider all reasonable suggestions for the next several hours while I wait for the fuzz to show…
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Update (4:45am): The car has Kansas plates — and the police tell me the owner has a habitual parking violation problem there, too. I hope they find enjoyment in red-tape, Canadian-style, when they pick up the card at the impound yard.

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you don’t know me, but i like your website. it’s got a nice design, clean and lovely to look at. cool.
Thanks for the kind words!
I was going to suggest the old “banana in the tailpipe” — it worked in the movies, right? And don’t be too hard on the good people of Kansas. Most of them love you, even if one can’t figure out where to park.
Oh, Dennis.. I think you got it wrong. It’s “Never put salt in your eyes” … isn’t it? Never put.. salt.. in.. Ya, that’s it. Never put salt.. nev-always? Always put salt in your eyes? okay, ya, always put (argh!)… ;-)
Heheh… How like you not to go for the cheap ‘not in Kansas anymore, Toto” joke.
What was it that Danny said about Angie? Ang? Angie? My Angie? …Kill Angie. ;)
It would make a delightful photo entry — the owner coming back and scratching his head when his car is missing and then going totally ballistic. Fun! grin
Hhhm; you’ve got me there, dammit. Don’t know who Danny & Angie are. Sounds like a volatile relationship… :) She lives???