“Something goes wrong when you and Quentin try to break into the school’s computer system, and the computer is broken. The school can’t use the computer for all the things it usually does, and it is very expensive to fix it. Instead of new sports equipment, your school must now pay to fix its computer.”

…An excerpt from this gem that was forwarded to me today via a security mailing list. The nondescript page is one of several aimed at ‘Kindergarten through Grade 5 kids‘ found on the US Department of Justice website.

So, they’d like to teach children not to “hack”… What a wonderful, proactive measure. We don’t usually see this sort of thought put into government outreach programs. That’s one theory, at least — another is that they’ve taken their hypocrisy to a new level.

I humbly suggest some new details that the Department of Justice might present on their webpage for any potential evil-doing children:

  • Department of Justice Net Surveillance Under Fire
    “The Justice Department’s statements — and what it did not say — in a congressional inquiry on the use of broadened surveillance powers authorized after the Sept. 11 attacks is raising a red flag among civil liberties groups. A central concern is the lack of clarity regarding the scope of Internet surveillance powers granted in the controversial USA Patriot Act.”
  • DARPA Information Awareness Office
    “The DARPA Information Awareness Office (IAO) will imagine, develop, apply, integrate, demonstrate, and transition information technologies, components, and prototype closed-loop information systems that will counter asymmetric threats by achieving total information awareness that is useful for preemption, national security warning, and national security decision making.”
  • EFF Report to Congress on Total Information Awareness
    “The Report makes one thing quite clear: TIA is being tested on “real problems” using “real data” pertaining to U.S. persons, apparently from Defense Department (DoD) intelligence files.”
  • EFF Carnivore Information
    “…The FBI claims that Carnivore “filters” data traffic and delivers to investigators only those “packets” that they are lawfully authorized to obtain. Because the details remain secret, the public is left to trust the FBI’s characterization of the system and — more significantly — the FBI’s compliance with legal requirements.”