My take-out delivery guy gives unsolicited financial advice. Over the course of about a year worth of deliveries, he’s recommended that I implement the following fiscal adjustments:

  • Eliminate altogether or give smaller tips because take-out joints generally roll delivery into the cost of the food.
  • Swap my Visa Gold with a low-interest credit card (he suggests Capital One with no administration fees, or at the very least a ‘Classic’ Visa).
  • Commit monthly after-tax money to an RRSP so that I get a ‘nice surprise’ during spring tax return season.
  • Invest in yearly government bonds for slow but guaranteed growth.
  • Order items from the “Wingdings” section of the menu to reap the ‘free drink’ benefit.

I considered our brief financial brainstorming sessions in my doorway to be unusual but altogether harmless. Tonight, from my balcony, I watched him drive away in a late-model BMW 330ci.

Maybe I do tip too much…