Dear Turner Broadcasting System:

During the New York Yankees vs. Cleveland Indians game at Jacobs Field this evening your, broadcast announcers exhibited a fantastic display of public stupidity. Though I could be referring to any number of inane comments put forth, I am specifically noting the "insect discussion" of the 8th inning.

As you know, the field was swarmed by gnats. Instead of referring to them as such -- or insects, or bugs -- your announcers chose to describe them as "Canadian soldiers". Repeatedly. While incredibly ignorant and disrespectful I considered it nothing more than an innocent Americanism.

Later, the broadcast team covering the Los Angeles Angels vs. Boston Red Sox felt the need to elaborate on the "Canadian soldier" reference in further painful, crude detail. I'll paraphrase:

"Canadian soldiers. They just fly around and don't do anything. They don't bite. That's why they call them Canadian soliders."

My description would be something like this -- Canadian soldiers sacrifice their lives in Afghanistan to clean up the horseshit disaster that the United States left behind.

Do British soldiers get their own type of bug, or are they lumped in with the Canadians? What kind of insects would represent Americans? If the bugs were inappropriately hostile would you call them Blackwaters? Frankly, since these things are attracted to oily substances, they should probably be referred to as the Bush Administration.

Anyhow, all I really wanted to say was FUCK YOU, ASSHOLES.