dennis.ca

If I learned anything this past week, its that there is no situation in which a guy should buy his girlfriend a ring of any type. Every such purchase results in unintended consequences. Let's start from the beginning, though...

I've known for weeks that I've needed new tires for my truck. I knew before I left for Halifax, and I certainly knew when I returned to snowy weather. Pushing my luck, I made two additional 5+ hour trips during the holidays. My tires were left with no visible tread.

The inevitable occurred on Monday night -- my right-rear tire went flat. Luckily the Pathfinder comes with a full-size rim and spare, so everything was resolved fairly quickly. I made an appointment to have new tires installed the next morning.

On Wednesday I dropped off the truck to have the tires replaced. My girlfriend and I had shopping plans so we rented a (pile of garbage) Jeep Liberty and we continued on our way. Our 'way' included a trip to a jewellery store to pick out a ring she wanted for Christmas. The purchase itself was quite painless and while she wandered off to pick up a few more things I decided to wait in the Jeep.

I sat in my parked, rented car with plenty of room on either side of the vehicle, altogether minding my own business. There was an empty spot to my left that I watched someone pull in to. Imagine my surprise when the incoming car ceased turning completed and rammed into the right-rear fender of my parked, rented car. The plastic bumper and a portion of the fender were badly scratched.

I've been known to have something of a temper when it comes to poor drivers. In the spirit of continuity I got out of the car and screamed "what the fuck!?" at top volume while violently slamming my door closed. This type of response is usually my first and most heated outburst. It also tends to intimidate people, and that was certainly the case with the other driver, 'Myrtle'. She was an elderly woman (born in 1916 according to her license) who whined meekly, "What did I do?" from her driver's seat. As she emerged from her car I thought I detected the scent of booze. I briefly imagined the scene of a congregation of elderly drunkards snarfing down cheap brandy in some retirement residence common room.

Dear old Myrtle was confused and worried as I recorded her insurance information and phoned the car rental agency. She fluctuated between offering to pay for the damage outright and claiming that she couldn't afford "another accident". She worried aloud that her insurance would "go up again". The always unhelpful police instructed us to go to the nearest station to file a report, which we did. Upon returning the truck to the rental place, Myrtle was on the phone with the manager offering the pay for the damages which she estimated would cost about $5 to buff out. I personally estimated the damages at about $800-1000.

If you're 90 years old, you shouldn't be driving. Period. There wasn't much to do but laugh about the whole thing, but while Myrtle was clearly at fault I know the real reason this accident occurred -- because I agreed to buy a ring!